


It's Only My Heart

by MeghanAnna



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6602611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeghanAnna/pseuds/MeghanAnna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Octavia and Lincoln move across the country, Clarke makes it her mission to make Bellamy smile again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Only My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> BFF Prompt: "maybe something along the lines of "you're really pretty when you cry if that helps." sorta prompt?"

Octavia and Lincoln moving across the country is hard on everyone. Not a single person is taking it well, no matter how much they lie and say they’re fine. It’s the worst for Bellamy, though. Of course it is.

Clarke wouldn’t expect it any other way. She’s never had to raise someone and then watch them move three thousand miles away with their boyfriend. Bellamy raised Octavia. He loves her more than he loves anyone. Clarke doesn’t even have a sibling, so she doesn’t understand that kind of love, let alone the kind that comes with raising and being best friends with a sibling. It’s all so far out of her league. 

On the morning Octavia and Lincoln climb into their rented U-Haul and drive away from everyone, Clarke doesn’t watch the truck like everyone else. Instead, she keeps a careful watch of Bellamy’s face. It remains stoic, like she suspected it would, but she can see in his eyes that he’s falling apart. 

It’s Miller’s idea to throw a party that night, as a way to start the healing process of losing two close friends. He makes it sound so much more ominous than it is, like they died instead of moved for Lincoln to take a great new job, but they  _ are _ all sad. It only makes sense to throw a party.

Raven offers to have it at her house since she’s the only one who owns an actual house with, like, a yard and everything. It’s the beginning of the summer, they want to be outside. They need all the room they can get to get drunk and disorderly. Plus, she just moved in and nothing is really unpacked, so she’s not afraid of anything getting broken or ruined if they do, in fact, get a little too out of hand. 

Clarke doesn’t dress up. There will only be about ten people at the party, all of which she’s known way too long to need to impress. She just decides on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of cheap flip flops. It’s so much easier partying with her own friends than with people she doesn’t know all that well. It’s part of the reason she’s glad she’s not with Lexa anymore. She spent  _ a lot  _ of time trying to impress her friends and, in the end, none of it mattered. 

Thankfully, her friends are easy. They’re all dressed pretty much exactly the same as she is. And as soon as they get to Raven’s backyard, they lose their shoes and set up a table for flip cup and another for beer pong. Clarke’s not sure how, but when they actually have time to throw these parties, they end up feeling exactly like the parties they threw in college. She loves it.

After losing a game of beer pong against Jasper, Clarke realizes that Bellamy is missing. He was there when the party started, actually helped her carry a table from the garage to the backyard, but he’s now missing and no one else seems to notice his absence. Since that morning, he’s been uncharacteristically quiet—understandably—but still. She’s worried about him. 

She leaves her friends in the backyard and heads inside and if anyone notices her leave, they don’t say anything. She finds Bellamy on the couch in the living room with his face in his hands. She’s pretty sure he doesn’t realize she’s in there with him, so she sits down carefully on the other end of the couch, so as not to disturb him. 

Of course, she does end up disturbing him and he looks over at her in shock. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” she promises and Bellamy just shakes his head. It’s then she realizes his eyes are rimmed red and there are tears on his cheeks. “Oh, Bellamy.”

“I’m fine,” he insists and Clarke moves closer to him on the couch so she can put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Clarke, I’m fine.”

“Bellamy, I’ve known you for five years and I’ve only ever seen you cry once before,” she reminds him and he rolls his eyes, sniffling a little. It’s actually kind of adorable, that little sniffle. It’d be much more adorable if his heart wasn’t broken. “When we watched  _ The Lion King _ , remember?”

“I’m a human being. With a soul. Of course I cry when I watch  _ The Lion King _ .”

Clarke laughs and he actually smiles a little. “You want to tell me why you’re crying now?” she asks and he scoffs. She expected that. Bellamy is happy to talk about a lot of things, but his feelings are not one of them. “If it helps at all, you’re really pretty when you cry.”

She hopes for a laugh or, at least, another smile. Instead, though, she gets a furrowed brow and a roll of his eyes.

“Are you drunk? Drinking on behalf of Octavia in her absence or something?” he asks and Clarke shoves him. She is not drunk. She is perfectly  _ buzzed _ , thank you very much. 

“I’m trying to make you happy  _ because of  _ Octavia’s absence,” she tells him and he nods. He pushes the sleeves of his henley up to his elbows and sits back against the couch cushions. “I mean, that’s why you’re upset, right?”

“Yeah,” he admits and she smiles sadly, sitting back with him. She rests her head on his shoulder and sighs. “This sucks.”

“She’ll come visit,” Clarke promises and he scoffs again. “And we’ll go visit her. I’ve always wanted to go to Seattle.”

“I just don’t know what to do with myself,” Bellamy says, as if Clarke said nothing at all. She lets him continue because he needs this and she just wants him to be happy, even with Octavia gone. “I don’t know who I am if I’m not O’s big brother.”

“Okay, Bellamy,” Clarke says, sitting up so she can look at him and make sure he’s really seeing her. “You will  _ always _ be Octavia’s brother, even if she lives in Seattle. But, you know, even if she was here, you don’t need to take care of her anymore, right?”

“I don’t know what else to do,” he admits and she leans forward to hug him and… she’s not quite sure where that urge came from. But, she got it and she went with it and when his arms circle her waist, she lets out a sigh of relief and squeezes him harder. 

“You can keep on taking care of the rest of us,” she promises and he finally laughs. “God knows we need all the help we can get.”

Bellamy lets out a breath against her neck and pulls back to look at her. “No matter how pretty I look when I cry, this can’t be very attractive. Sorry.”

“Bellamy.” Clarke rolls her eyes and brushes a curl off of his forehead. “You’re always attractive. You know that.”

His face is all too serious all of a sudden and, for some unknown reason, Clarke’s heart speeds up at the look in his eyes. 

“I mean,” she says quickly, sliding out of his grasp so her back is against the arm of the couch—as far from him as possible without actually jumping across the room. “I don’t know what I mean,” she admits.

“You mean that you’re attracted to me,” he says slowly, his lips tugging up into a smile, and she laughs. “You think I’m  _ dreamy _ . You want to have my babies.”

“Shut up.” Clarke laughs again and Bellamy looks down to hide his smile. At least he’s not crying anymore. “You were the one who was worried I wouldn’t find you attractive anymore. You want me to have  _ your _ babies.”

When he looks up at her again, his eyes are dark like they were before he started teasing her. She has another urge to move closer to him again. And to touch him again. But she refrains. 

This attraction to Bellamy is nothing new. He’s Bellamy, who doesn’t know how to use a comb and doesn’t understand how clothes fit—they’re always too tight or way too baggy—but he’s always been too good looking for his own good. And for Clarke’s own good. Pretty much, no good comes from Bellamy’s beautiful face and body and soul. 

What’s new for Clarke is the urge to give into it. He’s her best friend’s brother. That’s always been enough of a reason for her to put up a shield. But with Octavia gone and Bellamy so fragile, she just wants to comfort him. And make out with him. 

And for the first time ever, she thinks he might want to make out with her, too. If the way he’s looking at her is any indication, he might even want to do more than make out with her. 

“We have a lot of work to do before you have my babies,” Bellamy says, his voice deeper than normal. She swears she can feel the timbre of it deep in her belly. 

“What’s happening? I came in and found you crying,” she says and he shrugs. “Was that some kind of ruse?”

“Oh my god,” he scoffs, standing up. “No. That was real. I thought you were giving me an opening, though. Clearly, I was wrong.”

He starts to walk toward the kitchen and she knows he’s heading outside with the rest of their friends. But she doesn’t want that. She wants to go back in time and just let him tell her what they need to do before babies.

She jumps to her feet and cuts him off at the back door and pushes him further into the kitchen so none of their friends would see them if they looked their way. 

“How long have you been waiting for an opening?” Clarke demands and Bellamy crosses his arms and looks anywhere but at her. “Bellamy.”

“It’s not important,” he says with a shrug, trying to move past her again, but she doesn’t let him. “What do you want, Clarke?”

“I never said you didn’t  _ have _ an opening!”

She steps back in shock at her own words and Bellamy’s eyes finally fall on hers and they both just look at each other for a few moments. 

“Assuming I was fake crying about my sister moving kind of made it seem like there wasn’t an opening,” he says slowly and she nods. She gets it. She kind of messed that up.

“I just never knew you felt… anything toward me other than friendship,” she says and he looks at her like she’s crazy. “I mean, I’ve been doing my best not to feel anything else for you. I thought I’d notice if you were doing the same thing.”

“Well, you didn’t,” Bellamy says with a smirk and she can’t keep the smile from erupting across her face. Clarke’s going to have to call Octavia first thing in the morning, but she somehow thinks she’ll have her blessing for whatever is about to happen with her brother. 

“Good to know.”

Bellamy nods, full-on smiling now, and he takes a tentative step toward her. She steps closer to him, too, and he takes the hint and closes the rest of the distance between them.

When his lips find hers and his hands span the entire width of her back, she presses further against him and kisses back with all her might. It’s like some dam has broken and she can’t hold back. And neither can Bellamy. She’s kissed a lot of men and even more women, but she’s sure this kiss—right now, with Bellamy—is the best kiss of her damn life.

When the kiss finally ends, they don’t let go of each other. They just look at each other, breathing deeply and smiling goofily. It’s surreal, being in this position with  _ Bellamy _ , but she’s glad she finally gave into her urge. And she can’t wait to do it again. And again. 

“Babies, huh?” Clarke asks and Bellamy breathes out a laugh.

“If we get that far,” he confirms and she hides her face in the crook of his neck and laughs. 

“Right. We still have a lot of work to do before then,” she recalls and she feels him nod. “We should go back out there before they notice we’re gone and start thinking we’re having sex in Raven’s kitchen.”

They untangle themselves and Bellamy opens the door for her and Clarke smiles as she passes him on the way out. Everyone is exactly where she left them, but she feels like a new person as she joins them with Bellamy at her side.

\--

When she calls Octavia the next morning, Bellamy is wrapped around her in bed trying to listen to their conversation and she keeps elbowing him in the ribs to get him to back off. All he does is squeeze her tighter and she has to keep herself from laughing in Octavia’s ear.

“So, you found him crying and that somehow made you want to jump him?” Octavia asks and Clarke rolls her eyes at her oversimplification. 

“It’s slightly more complicated than that,” Clarke insists and Octavia hums. “It’s been building for a while. For both of us, apparently.”

“I can’t believe you waited until I was in a U-Haul, moving across the country to make a move,” Octavia sighs and Clarke’s eyes widen. “I’ve been waiting for this for years and you choose  _ now  _ to make it happen.”

“You’ve been waiting?” Clarke nearly screeches and she turns around to look at Bellamy. “She’s been  _ waiting _ .”

“Wait a second,” Octavia interrupts her. “Is he with you right now? Are you  _ in bed _ ?”

“I’ll call you later, O,” Clarke says hastily and just as Octavia starts to react, she hangs up. “She’s been waiting?”

“She’s known how I felt for a while,” Bellamy admits, face turning red. 

“Years, apparently.”

“Yeah,” he sighs and his eyes bore into her. “Yes,” he says more confidently, “years.” 

All the air leaves her body as his hands frame her face and he kisses her softly. She can feel the years pent up in that kiss and she knows it’s been just as long for her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://bellamyfrecklefaceblake.tumblr.com)!


End file.
